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Keeping it online

 

The one consequence of having a terrible memory is that your past often feels just out of reach. You remember the feelings you experienced but not the stories behind them and a part of you thinks that its for the best. One thing you do remember is how getting your first social media account opened up a whole new world for you. Making friends was hard but existing in fandom spaces made you realise that it didn’t have to be. One year into fully immersing yourself in the fandom experience, you met her, your first and longest lasting internet friend.

It started off simply enough with a text message. You were so new to the whole idea of replying to a stranger’s stories, but you’d been following her account for a while now and you knew exactly how it felt to doubt your own art simply because it was yours. So, you told her the truth about how beautiful her creations were and how important her art was to the fandom. She replied and you thought that was it, because in every other attempt to make online friends that’s where the conversation and the friendship usually ended.   

You woke up a couple of weeks later to a notification indicating that you’d been tagged in a post and unlocked your phone to discover she’d dedicated an absolutely gorgeous piece of art to you with a message so sweet that it almost made you cry. You knew that day that this friendship was definitely the most beautiful thing to ever come out of your obsession with that fandom and one of the reasons you do not regret a single moment you spent building up your love for the show.

The show ended but the friendship didn’t and you will always be so grateful for that. She still pops up in your notifications ever so often, liking your posts, replying to your stories and being an all round supporter of you and your work. Seeing these notifications still brings a smile to your face and a unique kind of joy to you because even though you don’t talk as much anymore and you will probably never meet face to face, it’s nice to know that your online internet friend’s got your back and you’ve got hers. And maybe one day she’ll wake up to a notification on her phone telling her that there’s a really special blog post out there that is dedicated to her and maybe she’ll receive at least a little bit of the joy she’s given you over the past five years. But until then, like two really famous brothers, it’ll be you and her against the world.

 

For M, who is literally one of the sweetest, kindest and most supportive people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

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