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Nineteen

 

You’ve been thinking a lot lately, about love, about life, but mostly about how happy you are being 19. It’s a weird age, life is hard but also so much easier. There’s studying to do but you’re studying the things you’re actually curious about, for the most part, at least. Then there’s the fact that you can drive which equals a lot more freedom than you’ve ever had before. But the biggest part, the best part is about the understanding you get to experience, from others and from yourself. Things get so much clearer, in a way. You still have no idea what you’re going to do but you’ve also been on this ride long enough to know that you will figure it out.

You also finally get to know the person you are, the things you genuinely enjoy, the things that freak you out and the things that make you feel safe. Such a big part of growing up is being on your own side, not in the selfish ‘I would let the world burn to make myself happy’ kinda way but in the ‘I’ve had a long week and I really deserve that Netflix binge and ice cream tub’ kinda way. You find your style, whether it is jeans or skirts or dresses or all three. You wear it because you like it, because it feels like you.

You learn to navigate relationships, platonic and romantic. Sometimes the hardest part is differentiating between the two, but you’ll get there, someday. You finally experience the emotions of a Taylor Swift song and want to say, ‘fuck you’ and ‘thanks’ to the person responsible because you’re sad but you’re finally feeling emotions that make you feel so fucking human. You also have a fantastic playlist of your favorite artists to get you through whatever you need to get through, whether it’s a bad day at work or the fact that you just spent fifteen minutes trying to parallel park. You know now that things do get better, and they will continue to get better. You just might end up getting a bonus and the best driver you know will tell he’s super proud of your parking job.    

So yeah, it is fun being 19 and it is fun knowing all of this stuff and realizing that even though so much of your life isn’t in your control, a lot of it is. And from here on out, your life is truly your own to mold and discover.   

 

 

 

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