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Two steps forward, three steps back

 

You click on the publish button, leaning back with a sigh. You promise yourself that you won’t check the response you’re getting for the next 24 hours, or maybe just 2 hours. You close the window and go back to your file of unfinished novels. You want to take a break, but you have also have no doubt that the 15-minute break will extend to an entire day, so you down a glass of water and read the last chapter you’ve written. If you’re lucky, it will get you into the right headspace. If not, you will start picking out the tiny flaws and mistakes that everyone says you should save for the editing process.

You’ve stared at the last line for ten minutes now and you still haven’t figured out where to go from here. That’s the problem with making it up as you go. Sometimes it works wonderfully but sometimes it feels like there’s simply no way to move forward. Maybe you just need some inspiration, you tell yourself, maybe it will come to you while you’re watching something. You’ve never actually needed a proper reason to watch a new tv series or a movie and a gentle nudge from your inner voice is enough to make you open amazon prime.

You browse for a few minutes; nothing catches your eye, so you decide to use logic. You’re writing a mystery/thriller so you should watch a crime show. You haven’t watched the mentalist in a long time and picking a random episode may help you decide where you want to go with the story. You use the random number generator to select a season and episode. Anything to avoid making unnecessary decisions. You plug in your earphones and start watching. Ten minutes in, you realise you haven’t been paying attention and have no idea what’s going on. Shaking your head, you close the app and against your better judgement, check your notifications. Seven reads in an hour. At least its more than three, you think, it could have been way worse. Your phone buzzes again. Someone has left a comment. You smile. This is what gives creators the courage to put their work out there, on a public platform, and you are no exception. The commentor has made your day and they don’t even know it. Still smiling, you close the window. An idea pops into your head. Anonymous tips. You figured out the next step your character has to take to reach the end goal and damn, it feels good. You open the word doc and begin typing. You’ll probably get stuck on the next chapter too, but you’ll figure it out. Just like you always do.

Comments

  1. UnknownMarch 6, 2022 at 1:49 PM

    Lovely! Effortless flow of thoughts and musings....love reading your work Nicole! Keep it coming...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aadiwolf08April 5, 2022 at 12:43 AM

    Written really well, plus I relate to the whole situation a lot and love the way you show how one a positive feedback can help a creator... So here's another one! goodjob (hope it helps you with your next chapter)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ruth DiasApril 5, 2022 at 4:28 PM

    Wow Nicole! You've articulated it very well.. plus your way of storytelling is quite alluring...i hope this comment gives you more motivation to continue writing!

    ReplyDelete

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